


the feeling of falling

by RedTailed



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: Cuddling, Fluff, I'LL FIX THE GRAMMAR WHEN MY PHYSIOLOGY CLASS STOPS KICKING MY ASS, Kinda PWP, M/M, Oral, PIV Sex, Smut, aki is kind of a nervous mess here, and if that means projecting onto anime character then so what, because it's my truama and i chose the coping mechanism, but like it's real soft, haruki is the one initiating, i made it p low key tho, post eve of emergence, trans!haruki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-19 02:00:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29618868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedTailed/pseuds/RedTailed
Summary: "Up to now, cuddling and the occasional heated make out session was as far as they’d pushed that line. It was as if Akihiko had been standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting for Haruki to take his hand and pull him into the foaming waves. All this anticipation made the butterflies in Haruki’s stomach multiply as he fondled Akihiko's belt."
Relationships: Kaji Akihiko/Nakayama Haruki
Comments: 5
Kudos: 41





	the feeling of falling

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! So look who got back into given, eh? Here's something kinda messy that I slapped together at 4 am. Not my best work but I had fun with it. First time writing smut with a trans character, which is something I always told myself I couldn't do. But fuck it, I'm tired of reading fetish-ey trans porn written by cis authors. It's projection time!!
> 
> Tdick is just refereed to as a dick if you get confused by that. Anyway, discretion aside, here it is.

Fall drifts in before Haruki could notice. Swept up by work, practice, school-- and maybe falling in love, the cold air snuck into his life quietly. Today though, it had suddenly made its presence known. He takes a long drag off his cigarette and watches the smoke swirl around him in the night air. The quiet noise of his glass door sliding open suddenly pulls him out of his daydream. 

“You’re shivering.” Akihiko said, tossing him his black jacket. His hair was still wet from his shower, and he was haloed in the warm light. 

“Thanks.” Haruki replies as he puts it on. It smells comfortingly familiar, and it was just a bit too big. Akihiko smiled at him like he was a puppy in an oversized raincoat, which made Haruki scoff and tilt his head away to look up at the sky. Akihiko responds by slipping his hand into Haruki’s, twinning their frigid fingers together. More and more they seem to be spending time together in silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable, rather it felt like the silence didn’t want to be interrupted. Just being in each other's presence was enough when they ran out of things to say. 

“Do you ever get that feeling?” Haruki asks quietly after their quiet moment. “The one that happens at night?” 

“Hm?” Akihiko asked, pointing his gaze at him. 

“When you watch the streetlights and stars at night. It’s not really loneliness, but it’s something like that.” 

“Homesickness?” 

“Not quite. It’s like the space between homesickness and longing. It’s not a totally bad feeling.”  
“Yeah. I get it.” Akihiko said, snubbing out his cigarette. “For a long time that’s what I thought love was. Like burning alive in a cold flame.” 

“What changed?” Haruki asks, pulling Akihiko’s jacket closer. 

“I grew up.” Akihiko paused, and then squeezed his hand. “And I met you.” 

“God, shut up.” Haruki could never really get over Akihiko’s unflinching sincerity. Maybe one day he’d stop getting flustered so easily. 

“Come inside, it’s getting cold.” Akihiko said as he led him by the hand.

“Mmph, your hands are still freezing.” Haruki complains as Akihiko pressed them into his back. 

“It takes me a bit to warm up. I guess I’m cold blooded or something.” Akihiko replies before pressing their lips together again. Haruki lets his eyes flutter shut as he melts into the kiss. He felt his face flushes as Akhiko’s rough hands played with the hem of his shirt.

“I can help you warm up if you want.” Haruki whispers after they break apart, his thumb hooked into Akihiko’s jeans. Akihiko’s eyes widened, and Haruki could hear his mind racing. 

“Are you sure?” His voice was small and surprisingly timid. 

“I think I can handle you.” Haruki smiled as he pushed Akhiho’s against the kitchen counter. “Let me have this.” 

“Okay.” Akihiko blinked, suddenly more flustered than he’d ever seen him. 

Still, even with this feigned confidence Haruki couldn’t hide his giddy nervousness. Up to now, cuddling and the occasional heated make out session was as far as they’d pushed that line. It was as if Akihiko had been standing on the edge of a cliff, waiting for Haruki to take his hand and pull him into the foaming waves. All this anticipation made the butterflies in Haruki’s stomach multiply as he fondled Akihiko's belt. 

“Haruki.” He looked up to see Akihiko’s brows deeply furrowed. “You’re shaking.”

“I’m just nervous.” Haruki reassures, leaning up to kiss him on the jaw. “I’m fine. It’s a fun nervous.”

“Hmm.” Akihiko replies tentatively. “Tell me if it gets too much, okay?”

“Promise.” Haruki says, before sinking down to his knees, and Akihiko’s sharp inhale tugs at his heart. He gets Akihiko’s belt undone and his pants fall into a neat pile around his feet. Haruki pressed a hand on Akihiko’s leg for balance as he gingerly pressed kisses up his inner thigh. 

“Tease.” Akihiko breathes out as his hand makes his way to Haruki’s hair, gently playing with it like he’s a dog. Haruki responds with a gentle tug on his briefs, which makes Akihiko’s hand freeze. As he pulled them down, he looked up to see Akihiko peering down at him wide eyed and completely red. 

“May I?” Haruki asks, barely an inch away from the tip of his cock. 

“Please.” Is all Akihiko manages to get out before Haruki sinks down with hesitation. The gasp that Akihiko makes sends shivers down his spine. It’s surprisingly hard already, and the warm, heavy feeling in his mouth sends his blood right up to his face. His heart is beating a little too fast as he takes in all the little noises coming out of Akihiko’s open mouth, and when a particularly loud groan slips from Akihiko, he can’t help but whine against his dick. 

“How are you so good at this.” Akihiko rumbled in a low, drippy voice. “You’ve got to have done this before.” 

Amused, he wished that he could tell Akihiko he hadn’t given a proper blowjob since secondary school, but instead he just hummed and used his free hand to grip the base of his dick. 

“Haruki, I-- can you stop?” Akihiko’s request is almost a plea in how strangled it comes out. Haruki pulls his head back and looks up at him curiously. “I want to make you feel good too before I get too close. I mean, if you want that is, I’m not saying you have to, or I mean that I have to--”

“Shhh.” Haruki interrupts as he gets back up on his feet, pressing a hand into his chest. “I’d love for you to.”

“Ah.” Akihiko says as he bites his lip in embarrassment. Haruki can’t help but chuckle at that, which seems to break Akihiko out of his sudden shyness. They’re both complete messes right now, Haruki realizes. 

“Come, let’s do this on my bed.” Haruki says as he takes Akihiko’s hand into his. 

“Um.” Akihiko coughs out as both of them lay on his bed. His pants and boxers have been flung into a corner somewhere, and along the process of relocating Akihiko had lost his shirt. 

“You didn’t forget I was trans right?” Haruki replied with a giggle, letting his arm drape over his face. 

“I mean, kinda!” Akihiko admitted, laughing now too. “I guess I’ve never really let myself think of you like this after... you know.”  
“You can do it, I’m not gonna break apart now.” Haruki says gently. 

Akihiko just sighs at that, like he’s gathering all his nerves up. “Can I use my mouth?” He asks curiously. 

“Mhm.” Haruki humed, welcoming in the tingly feeling that was crawling up his legs. Watching Akihiko’s head dip down between his legs makes his heart skip a beat, and then suddenly his wet tongue was enveloping his dick. 

“Fuuuuuck.” Haruki let out, needier than he intended. “That… that feels really nice.” 

Haruki let his eyes drift shut as he sank deeper into his need. His legs were trembling and every time he felt his tongue piercing graze across his tip an involuntary mewl escaped from his lips. 

“God, I want you in me so bad.” Haruki groaned out as he balled his fists into his sheets. Akihiko pulled away and looked up at him with surprise. 

“Oh? _”_ There’s a gentle hunger in his gaze that Haruki had to squint to understand. He could tell that Akihiko was still being tentative for his sake, but underneath he saw a feral desire that laced his laboured breaths. It intrigued Haruki more than anything else. 

“Yeah. You heard me.” Haruki murmured as Akihiko kissed his naval. “Please.” 

“Do you have condoms?” Akihiko asked and Haruki shook his head. 

“I haven’t been with a guy since I was 16.” Haruki admitted, “Haven’t needed them for almost a decade.” 

“Wait--” Akihiko pipped up, before he suddenly paused and lowered his head in embarrassment. “Check my left jacket pocket.” Haruki fishes around in the pocket of the black leather jacket he’s still wearing, and his fingers find a cool square of foil.

“Dirty dog.” Haruki chuckles as he hands him the condom. 

“I used to need these a lot more than I have during the last six months.” Akihiko mumbled as he tore the packaging and rolled it onto himself. 

“Do you need prep?” Akihiko asked, pressing his legs up and apart. 

“I wouldn’t mind.” Haruki replies, feeling much more at ease now than he did twenty minutes ago. When he sees Akihiko hesitate, he offers up some advice. “Here, take your two fingers, and um, use them like this when you put them in.” He demonstrates by making a “come here” motion with his fingers. He can’t help but dance around dirty words, even now. 

Akihiko lets out a long breath and does as suggested, slowly fucking him with his index and middle finger. His brain short circuits at the sudden sensation. Even though he’d done this himself many times, he felt himself coming undone faster than he’d expected with Akihiko. 

“God, I’m sorry for making your jacket so sweaty.” Haruki sighed, his toes curling from the overwhelming lust that clouded his head. 

“It’s fine. You’re cute in it.” Aihiko replies, which sends Haruki right back into a blushing mess. Then, right at that moment, Akihiko presses his fingers right up against his g-spot, causing a long, hazy moan to spill from his lips. Akihiko smirks and does the motion again, making Haruki squirm in pleasure. The wet noise of his fingers pressing into his hole was going to be the death of him. 

“Please...” Haruki pleads as Akihiko pulls out his fingers. The sudden emptiness makes him shudder. “Please, I can’t take it anymore.” 

“Please what?” Akihiko half growls as he pressed his wet hand onto his chest and leans over him. The glint of confidence in his voice made Haruki shiver. 

“Please fuck me.” Haruki whispered, eyes wide. 

“Anything for you.” Akihiko replies. As he lines his dick up against him, Haruki’s breath gets caught in his throat. He closes his eyes as Akihiko pressed all the way down, excruciatingly slowly. Haruki lets out an embarrassing whimper as he bottoms out, and he can see that Akihiko is panting heavily. Suddenly Akihiko’s hands finds their way to his hips, pulling him down his bed. 

“Ah!” Haruki squeaks in surprise.

“More comfortable this way.” Akihiko mumbles as he stands up against the end of his bed. “Ready?” 

“Hell yes.” Haruki breaths out. 

And with that, Akihiko thrusts in again, this time with no reservations. The full, warm feeling of it all makes Haruki a blubbering mess. He’s stringing together words that definitely don’t make sense, but he couldn't care less at that moment. Akihiko’s short fingernails dig into his hips just hard enough to leave little marks in his skin. Akihiko’s moaning now too, and he can tell he’s finally taken his words to heart. He watches Akihiko’s face above him reverently, his tightly knitted brow, the beads of sweat gathering on his neck, _he’s finally just enjoying himself._ When Akihiko thrusts into him with a choked, almost strangled moan, Haruki knows that he can’t hold off for much longer. 

“Aki, I’m gonna, FUCK.” Was all he could make out before he was cut off by the overwhelming feeling of his orgasm. It started with an intense throbbing feeling in his dick that blossomed all over, spreading to legs and turning his thighs to a shaking mess. In his half lidded, heavily breathing state, he watches as Akihiko’s pants turn erratic as he bottoms out one last time, letting out a guttural groan.

“That was a little too good.” Haruki cooed and he got up and lazily kissed Akihiko, both of them sweaty and slightly sticky. “I can see why all the girls fawn over you.” 

“Stop, it’s going to go straight to my ego.” Akihiko joked as he twirled his fingers around Haruki’s chin length hair. “I’m gonna go clean up, stay right here.” Akihiko says as he gets up and heads to the bathroom. In his soft afterglow, Haruki can’t help but let a goofy smile creep up onto his face. 

“I need to take my binder off next time.” Haruki murmurs as he presses his chin against Akihiko’s shoulder. “That shit felt like running up twelve sets of stairs.” 

“Mmm.” Akihiko hums. They’re under his covers now, legs all tangled up. “Next time?”

“Look forward to it.” Haruki says, words slurred with dreariness. “I’m keeping my shirt on though.”

“Fine by me.” Akihiko replies distantly. Haruki could tell he was nearly asleep. “You looked cute like that anyway. I need to lend you my clothes more often.”

“Hmm?” 

“Sweater paws. Cute. You.” Akihiko replies as he laces their fingers together. “I guess my arms are longer than yours.” 

“Stop bragging and go to sleep.” Haruki mumbles through his shoulder. Akihiko’s low chuckle rumbles through his chest. 

“Alright. G’night Haru.”

“Goodnight Aki.” 

**Author's Note:**

> anyway, wear protection during sex even when it's oral, porn is fantasy!! stay safe <3
> 
> **I'M SO SORRY ABOUT THE WEIRD VERB TENSE FUCKERY, I'LL FIX IT UP SOMETIME


End file.
